It's Complicated
by Goofy-Charli
Summary: Kurogane's life is rather uneventful, that is until he meets the strange and somewhat eccentric teacher Fai. He knows the blonde is hiding something, and it bothers him - no matter how much he tries to convince himself he shouldn't care. KuroFai, AU Horistuba (In other words, Horistuba...but not).
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes

Welcome to my first ever multi-chapter story! I've put this baby through a washing machine a couple of times so now you can enjoy a lovely clean edit.

**Title:** It's Complicated…  
**Main Characters:** Kurogane, Fai and Ashura  
**Rating:** T for implied adult scenes and some violence  
**Setting:** the alternate universe of Horitsuba, Kurogane is a PE teacher and Fai is a science teacher. The world is a variation of the one we live in; the country Fai and Kurogane live in is a mixture of Japan, America and Australia. References to a place like Hawaii will appear later.  
**Description:** Kurogane's life is rather uneventful, that is until he meets the strange and somewhat eccentric teacher Fai. He knows the blonde is hiding something, and it bothers him - no matter how much he tries to convince himself he shouldn't care.

* * *

Chapter One

Kurogane beeped his car horn angrily and cursed the traffic under his breath. Today was the _one _day he couldn't be late, as it was his first day at a new job. So naturally, it would be the one day traffic was slow. After what seemed to be an eternity, the black-haired man finally pulled into the staff car park of Horitsuba State High School. An overly enthusiastic senior student bounded in his direction, eager to show the new physical education teacher to Principal Teru Hashimoto's office for his brief overview of Horitsuba's daily routine. Kurogane followed the student obligingly.

The young teacher had, for some reason, imagined the Headmaster to be a short, rotund man with a poorly placed toupee. Instead, the man he now faced was a tall, lanky streak of misery donning a rather pathetic grey suit. His eyes were buried in deep hollows and his face screamed of a person who worked so much it ate away at his soul. Hashimoto extended a bony hand and welcome Kurogane tiredly.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Kurogane-san. I am confident you will enjoy your time here at Horitsuba. Your office is in the sports room, and on your desk you will find a folder with all the necessary information you will require. Your classes, students, rules and regulations and the sort are included." Hashimoto explained gloomily, "If you need to know anything more please don't hesitate to ask me or the deputy principal and head of the history department, Yuuko-san. You will usually find her in her office across from mine." The Headmaster motioned to a door on the other side of the corridor.

"Uh, thanks?" Kurogane mumbled in reply, wondering how such a morose man could become the principal of a high school.

"So Kurogane-san, shall I show you around? Perhaps now is the time to introduce you to the staff."

The brawny man followed his much less muscular boss through the school until they arrived outside a door stating it was the staff room. Inside, Kurogane begrudgingly shook hands with every head of department and the teachers that were present. Most of them seemed a little intimidated by Kurogane's height, physique and deep voice. There were a lot of people in the spacious room, but something wasn't right. He could sense there was somebody missing, and his instincts were never wrong. As he studied the room his eyes glossed over a poster listing the areas the school covered. Once he reached the label that read 'Physics' and 'Chemistry', it hit him. _The science department…there's nobody in here who's head of the science department, _Kurogane thought. He severely detested having to meet new people, but figured he would have to be introduced to every staff member eventually. Kurogane voiced his realisation, deciding it would be easier to get it out of the way all at once.

"So…is there anybody in science? Who's the HOD?" he asked gruffly. The reaction to his statement was rather unexpected; it was like the words he had spoken were the plague. The whole room fell completely silent and the teachers exchanged uneasy glances. "What?" Kurogane half-yelled.

Hashimoto spoke uncomfortably, "Um, w-well…you see…the head of science is here…but he prefers to stay in the lab most of the time…"

Kurogane eyed the tired man suspiciously, yet said nothing.

"Fai-san is a little different to the rest of us." The headmaster explained awkwardly, "He's a little bit…shall we say, _eccentric. _He spends the majority of his time in the science room and eats there too. It's his choice so we don't press the issue, he doesn't seem to mind..." _And neither do we. _He added mentally.

Kurogane really didn't care one bit about the social outcast, but thought he might as well look like he showed interest in the staff of the school. "Oh…right. Whatever, shouldn't I meet him anyway? I need somebody to show me to the lab." He strained.

Again the teachers looked around uneasily before the principal finally gave in to his fate. "As you wish Kurogane-san, this way please."

Hashimoto hesitated outside the door to the science lab; he eventually opened it and stepped cautiously into the white room. In the far corner a lithe man leaned over a pile of paperwork, apparently unaware somebody had entered the area.

Hashimoto cleared his throat, "Uh, Fai-san?"

Fai's head whipped around in shock at the sound of a voice, finally revealing his elegant features to Kurogane. He had silky blonde hair that cascaded down his neck and fell slightly over his large, sparkling blue eyes. They were like two massive sapphires twinkling in the sun; two deep pools of the clearest water. His skin was smooth and pale, reminding Kurogane of snow.  
_  
Jeez, _he thought, _if this guy were anymore feminine he could win the bloody Miss Universe pageant – he'd be pretty enough.  
_Suddenly realising the implication of what he was thinking Kurogane mentally slapped himself for calling a man pretty.

Fai stared at the men quizzically before standing up and slowly making his way over to them.

"He seems normal enough to me,"Kurogane huffed quietly. Hashimoto looked at him worriedly, as if to warn him of something. The blonde was now in front of the two and smiling politely.

"Fai-san, this is Kurogane Suwa the new PE teacher. Kurogane-san, Fai Flourite as you know is the head of science." Hashimoto struggled.

"Ku-ro-ga-ne," Fai pronounced each syllable of Kurogane's name individually, his head cocked to one side in thought. A wicked grin spread across the blonde's face as Kurogane finally realised why Hashimoto had called Fai 'different' and why most people avoided him…


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes

Welcome to my first ever multi-chapter story! I've put this baby through a washing machine a couple of times so now you can enjoy a lovely clean edit.

Behold the glorious chapter two! A big thank you to all who have read, reviewed and faved this story. I was amazed I got such a large response after just one chapter! As promised this chapter is much, much longer. And we get inside the minds of Fai and Hashimoto alongside Kurogane. Please enjoy, as mentioned before reviews are love. :)

**Title:** It's Complicated…  
**Main Characters:** Kurogane, Fai and Ashura  
**Rating:** T for implied adult scenes and some violence  
**Setting:** the alternate universe of Horitsuba, Kurogane is a PE teacher and Fai is a science teacher. The world is a variation of the one we live in; the country Fai and Kurogane live in is a mixture of Japan, America and Australia. References to a place like Hawaii will appear later.  
**Description:** Kurogane's life is rather uneventful, that is until he meets the strange and somewhat eccentric teacher Fai. He knows the blonde is hiding something, and it bothers him - no matter how much he tries to convince himself he shouldn't care.

* * *

Chapter Two

A ridiculous and childish pout spread across Fai's face. He stared a little longer at Kurogane before finally speaking again.

"Kurogane's not a very pretty name!"

The black-haired man goggled back incredulously, "H-Huh? Wh-"

"Oh! I know! What about…Kuro-chan? I'll call you Kuro-chan! That's a pretty name!"  
Fai launched himself towards Kurogane. He wrapped his arms around the other man and latched on tight like a leech. It was his idea of a gleeful hug.

"What the hell did you say? Don't you dare call me that again!" Kurogane spat furiously and threw the blonde off him into a nearby wall, "And get the hell off me!"

Teru Hashimoto was nowhere to be seen, he had already escaped out the door when neither Fai nor Kurogane were looking.

"Ouch, that hurt! You don't like Kuro-chan? What about Kuro-rin?" Fai whimpered, rubbing his arm in pain.

"Shut up, my name is _Kurogane, _damn it!" _What a nutter… _he added to himself.

"…Or Kuro-puu, Kuro-chii, Kuro-pon…"

Fai continued to chant nicknames completely unaffected by the countless threats Kurogane yelled at him. Soon enough, the blonde grew bored of his game and with a final strangling hug, said, "Well I guess I'll see you around Kuro-pin!"

Waving goodbye, he pranced out the door singing nonchalantly. Kurogane didn't move for a long time as he was in too much shock. Even though he finally managed to drag himself out of the room, a look of sheer disbelief stayed firm on his face for the rest of the day.

o-o-o

_I can't believe that guy! They told me he was eccentric but I had no idea how much. There has to be something mentally wrong with him. Maybe he hit his head when he was a ch-_

"...Sensei? Suwa-sensei?" a student in the front row of the classroom interrupted Kurogane's thoughts, "Suwa-sensei are you okay? You've been out of it all lesson."

Kurogane grunted in reply and the student, satisfied with his response, continued her work in silence. Taking a moment first to yell at a boy in the back for throwing things, Kurogane groaned and buried his face in his hands. Tired and frustrated, he counted down the minutes to the end of his long and otherwise uneventful first day.

Many times that night, Kurogane found his mind wandering back to his encounter with the unusual science teacher. He wondered what happened to the blonde that made him so socially awkward…then again maybe he really was just born that way.

Kurogane almost laughed at himself, _when the hell did I start giving a damn about people I hardly know?_

Shaking Fai from his thoughts, he opened his freezer and examined his wide selection of frozen meals.

Kurogane chewed through the last portion of cardboard flavoured chicken lazily. Exhausted from a day of trying to make a decent first impression – a task easier said then done for the likes of Kurogane - he decided to go to bed much earlier. However, for some strange, unexplained reason, Fai was all he could think about as he tried to get to sleep.

o-o-o

Fai glanced at his watch. _5.30, I guess it's time I headed home, _he thought.

Home… it was the last place he wanted to be; but it was also the first. He just prayed tonight would be different, like he prayed every other night would be, even though he _knew_ it wouldn't. Still, he had to have a little faith. Faith that maybe things could go back to the way they used to be. Maybe…

Fai pushed open his front door quietly, careful to not let it creak. He tiptoed past the lounge room, just in case, before making a quick escape to his room where he would spend the rest of the night with the door locked. Flopping onto his bed with a heavy sigh, Fai forced his frail body asleep, denying it the dinner he craved in fear of going back outside. Closing his eyes he prayed once more…  
_Maybe…just maybe…_

o-o-o_  
_

The next week went rather quickly for Kurogane, and he didn't see Fai once. It was as if the blonde lived in a completely different universe to everybody else. In fact, Kurogane subconsciously spent the majority of his spare moments in class eavesdropping on any student conversations that involved the eccentric teacher. It appeared as though most of the children liked him, they said nothing but nice things about his methods of teaching and how much fun his classes were. One thing was recurrent though, they all found him _extremely _weird. They also mentioned he was withdrawn. Fai was apparently rather uncomfortable talking about his self and never spoke about his personal life. It was the only thing that seemed to break his constant bouts of enthusiasm. Kurogane became more and more intrigued with the man with every extra thing he heard – though of course he would never admit it.

When Kurogane began his second week and had still not seen a trace of Fai since their first meeting, he started to wonder if maybe he had been fired. Astonished at his own stupidity for thinking about him yet again, Kurogane snorted in disgust. _What's with me? I don't care about that freak!_

His Fai-being-fired theory was proven wrong the minute he walked into the sports room, however. There was a small note folded on his desk, addressed to Kurogane and signed by the science teacher. His hand writing was an elegant script.

_Kuro-puu,_

_We haven't even spoken since we met! Such a tragedy! I must get to know my new colleague. So, please meet me in the science lab at lunch today. _

_Fai D. Flourite_

Confused, yet curious Kurogane decided he would follow the letter's instructions.

o-o-o

Teru Hashimoto ran a sweaty hand through his greying hair. He held a staff folio tightly in his other hand. It was titled Flourite, Fai D. _Is it even worth confronting him about this?  
_  
Fai had not been particularly punctual with updating the details on his personnel file. He hadn't refilled the information form when the rest of the staff was asked to, and he was long overdue for his medical examination. If Fai didn't get the physical soon, his medical insurance within the school would be compromised.

Hashimoto knew he should be pressing the issue further with his employee, but the blonde frightened him. He seemed friendly enough on the surface, but Hashimoto could sense a foreboding strength within Fai. If the need arose, Hashimoto had the strange suspicion Fai would have no problem with harming another person. Hence the reason he avoided contact with the blonde at all costs.

_I guess I can let this slide for another month…_

o-o-o_  
_

When Kurogane entered the science lab, Fai was teetering around in what appeared to be his own private kitchen.

_A kitchen in a science lab?  
_  
He coughed loudly to signal his arrival and immediately after a head popped out from behind a refrigerator door.

"Ah!" he exclaimed, popping something into the microwave, "Kuro-wan, you came!"

Kurogane flared at the use of another nickname, "Don't call me that!"

Fai ignored him, "Have you settled in yet?"

Kurogane eyed Fai sceptically, he was sure the blonde hadn't summoned him here to create idle chit-chat.

"This school sure has a lot of rules, but they are easy enough to learn. But you know-" Fai continued.

Kurogane interrupted, "Get to the point blondie, why am I here?"

Another adorable pout stretched across Fai's face, perhaps due to his having his own nickname, "Aw, fine. I was just making conversation. You're so mean Kuro-nyan!"

Kurogane stiffened and glared at the thin man angrily, "I told you not to call me those stupid names! If you don't stop, I _will _be forced to hurt you. Now if you have nothing important to say; I'm leaving."  
He whipped around towards the door, but a cry stopped him in tracks.

"Wait! I did have something to say!" Fai said quickly.

"Fine. Get on with it."

"I noticed you have been spending lunchtimes by yourself in the sports room."

For a second, Kurogane felt a little embarrassed the blonde had been watching him enough to know such things. The feeling passed quickly. Though it _was _true, he did eat by himself.

_As if I'm going to suffer a whole hour of mindless socialising with those people, _he thought.

"I wondered why Kuro-chin, why don't you eat with the others?"

"Shut up! My name is _Kurogane! _And I wouldn't waste my time with those people, they'd force me into talking with them. I hate meaningless conversation. I'd rather eat in private."

Fai seemed amused by Kurogane's endless attempts to stop him from using the nicknames.  
"Ah, I see. You know, I eat in here for the same reason. I leave them alone, they leave me alone."

"So?" Kurogane wondered why Fai was so intent on being by himself, when what he overheard from students suggested he actually_ enjoyed_ talking and the company of others. He'd thought it was others who didn't enjoy _his _company, not vice versa.

"I also happened to notice all you eat is frozen packaged meals." Kurogane also wondered briefly how the hell the idiot could know such a thing, had he been going through his bins? "Rather unhealthy for a PE teacher don't you think?" Fai clicked his tongue disapprovingly, "So, I have a delicious double serving of curry, far too much for me to eat. I thought maybe you would like to share it with me Kuro-tan?"

Kurogane snorted, "You're kidding right?"

The blonde cocked his head in confusion, "No Kuro-kuu, I'm quite serious."

With another rude grunt Kurogane, for the second time, turned around to leave the room. He couldn't believe he had wasted his time on the teacher. _I should have just followed my gut feeling. I knew it would be pointless, so why did even bother coming down here?  
_  
"Whatever blondie, like I'd ever want to eat with you, I told you I don't want to socialise with people didn't I? I'm happy on my own."

"Oh, we don't have to talk Kuro-sama. I only asked if you wanted to eat," Fai said - smirking at the other man's reaction.

"I don't care!" Kurogane fumed, "I said no!" The PE teacher stormed angrily out the door.

"Fine then, suit yourself. It's your loss anyway," Fai murmured, with a wave of his hand and an overdramatic sigh. He scooped a serving of the steaming curry into a large bowl with a purposely large swoop of his arm. It was an attempt to help the scent waft further towards the hallway…and it worked.

o-o-o

As Kurogane begrudgingly sat down for lunch, he tried his best to never stop glaring at the man sitting across from him. Fai was unsettlingly smug with his self, quite obviously enjoying his victory. _  
It won't happen again, _Kurogane thought, _but no man in his right mind could resist the smell of this!  
_And it was true; the incredible aroma of the food now in front of him was a powerful weapon. Kurogane had firmly decided Fai was an idiot and there was no way he would agree to sharing lunch with him. Yet one sniff had him practically running back to the science room almost drooling. The only consolation was that the blonde had stuck to his promise and not said a word for the entire meal. There was no obligation to create conversation, only complete silence. Somehow, though, it was the most comfortable silence either of them had ever experienced.

If one sniff of the curry could disable Kurogane's common sense and cause him to eat with another person, there was no doubt one bite could do much more. The next day another note was left on his desk, and the next day after that. After experiencing what real food tasted like for the first time in months, Kurogane could not say no to the invitations. He was far past making his own decision on the subject. Soon enough, Fai didn't even have to ask Kurogane to come to the lab; he did so of his own accord. In a matter of days the two began sharing meals Fai had home-cooked every lunch, never speaking just eating. And even Kurogane couldn't shake the feeling that he actually enjoyed the routine a little. Not to mention, he really was feeling a whole lot healthier.

Kurogane lay awake in bed groaning at the large lump of packaged meat sitting in his stomach, refusing to digest. Normally the leathery and sometimes plastic goodness of frozen meals would not affect him. His body had grown immune to eating it, but now that he'd been eating _real_ food once a day for almost four weeks, he found it much more difficult to keep his fake dinner down. Kurogane wished he'd had a mother, or even a father to teach him how to cook when he was a child, but both of his parents were tragically killed in a flash flood when he was barely old enough to remember them.  
_Ah…the perils of being an orphan.  
_ Wincing in pain, Kurogane pondered what it would be like to have a wife around the house to keep things tidy and prepare delicious dinners for him. It was a strange thought, as he didn't care for girlfriends or wives. Kurogane believed love only weakened you. Still, having somebody to cook meals would be helpful. He pictured what his wife would look like should he ever actually have one.  
_She'd have to be attractive, at the very least. Not that I care, but other people do. She'd also have to be able to cook of course.  
_ For some reason, the figure now dancing around in his mind was a beautiful slender woman with flowing golden hair and huge, sparkling blue eyes…


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** It's Complicated…  
**Main Characters:** Kurogane, Fai and Ashura  
**Rating:** T for implied adult scenes and some violence  
**Setting:** the alternate universe of Horitsuba, Kurogane is a PE teacher and Fai is a science teacher. The world is a variation of the one we live in; the country Fai and Kurogane live in is a mixture of Japan, America and Australia. References to a place like Hawaii will appear later.  
**Description:** Kurogane's life is rather uneventful, that is until he meets the strange and somewhat eccentric teacher Fai. He knows the blonde is hiding something, and it bothers him - no matter how much he tries to convince himself he shouldn't care.

Chapter Three

The tall man stumbled into his house, smashing into everything in his path. He was drunk, and smelled of a mixture liquor, urine, cigarette smoke and vomit. It wasn't that he hadn't had a shower for days, just that he had spent the past sixteen hours at his favourite bar. The lights were out in the house, but that did not worry him. He had staggered through the hallways in the dark many times before. As he passed the kitchen, his stomach growled with a hunger for something more than alcohol. He ignored it. There was a deeper hunger within him, one that he had to get rid of as soon as possible, and there was only one way to do it. The door to his destination came gradually into view despite the lack of light. The man placed his grimy hand over the cool, smooth metal of the handle as a malicious grin spread across his unshaven face. Slowly, slowly he turned the doorknob…

It was locked. The man cursed loudly, he was in no mood for these games. It didn't faze him though; with long determined strides he grabbed a knife from the kitchen. It took him a few minutes, but he eventually picked the lock with the precision of a man who had previous experience with the matter. Again, his hunger now blazing angrily in his eyes, he turned the knob…it clicked and the door swung open. He stalked into the room, satisfaction clear in his rough features. The person waiting in the room looked up in horror when the realisation hit that the man had gotten past the lock yet again. The drunken man seized his reward, the fear in their eyes only fuelling him more. He was hungry, but not for much longer…

o-o-o

Fai stared at his bustling class bleary-eyed. He hadn't gotten much sleep the previous night. Some of his students shot him uneasy glances, it wasn't everyday one of their teachers almost fell asleep in class. Fai checked his watch and counted down the minutes until lunch. He knew he needed to rest; there was no way he would make it through the day if he didn't get some catch up on sleep. It pained him greatly because he also knew if he wanted to sleep he would have to give up his beloved lunch with Kurogane. It wasn't much, but it was the only thing he managed to look forward to anymore, considering his situation at home. Kurogane was hardly his 'friend', they really only saw each other at lunch and even then they never talked, but at least he didn't stare at him as if he was a circus freak show like the others did. Nevertheless, the friendly banter that often ensued upon their meetings as a result of the nicknames Fai gave Kurogane always managed to bring a _real _smile to his face.

Sadly and slowly he reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a pen and notepad. Fai scribbled down a quick message, giggling silently as he ended the note with an extra touch that was sure to annoy Kurogane. Retrieving a bowl from his lab fridge, he excused himself from his class for a few minutes, leaving a responsible senior girl in charge. He raced down the hall, placed the bowl and his note on the PE teacher's desk and returned to his students as fast as possible.

o-o-o

Kurogane slumped into his desk chair when he finally escaped class. The gymnastics session with his grade elevens was exhausting, especially since, as a new teacher, he'd yet to earn their full respect. Swivelling around he spied something on his desk, and a little of his heart fell when he read the note attached to the container of Caesar salad.

_Dearest Kuro-neko,_

_I have lots of silly assignments to mark, oh aren't they annoying? So I can't make lunch today Kuro-mew, I'm terribly sorry. I left your share on your desk though!_

_Love, _

_Your Fai_

Kurogane's stomach churned at the 'love' and 'your Fai', though in a good or bad way he wasn't sure. _That idiot gets here so early, there's no way he'd even have any marking left to do, _he thought in a huff. Kurogane ignored the letter's request and marched to Fai's lab anyway, determined to learn the truth behind his absence for lunch and to scold him for writing such sickening things.

When he arrived he slammed the door open and yelled, "Alright blondie, what's the real -"  
He stopped short. Fai was nowhere to be seen. He quickly scouted the room and sighed when he finally found him. It was quite obvious now why Fai had skipped lunch. The lithe teacher was curled up in a ball under his desk – fast asleep! Kurogane considered waking him and questioning as to why he was napping at school, but eventually decided to just let the man be. Everybody pulled all-nighters every now and then. Sighing quietly he shut the door and turned off the light.

o-o-o

_Geez, how many of these things _are _there? _Kurogane thought as he pumped the twenty-fifth ball. Principal Hashimoto had asked Kurogane to stay behind after his last class to tidy and sort the sports equipment – which included inflating all of the flat balls. It was amazing how many seemed to stock up over time. When, at last, he was finished; he wasted no time at all packing his things and rushing down the hallways out of the school. However, he paused when he came to the science lab. The light was still on, so he figured he would turn it off. Kurogane did not expect the reason the light was still on was because somebody was _still _in there. Much to his surprise, Fai was sitting at his desk with his head buried in his arms. It appeared as though he had fallen asleep marking. Kurogane was not as gracious as earlier – he walked right over and shook Fai vigorously. The blonde woke with a start.

"Huh?" he mumbled, half asleep, "K-Kuro-dot?"

"Yes idiot. Care to explain yourself?"

Fai checked the time and began to shuffle his feet awkwardly, "Oh…w-well…I just thought I would get some work done before I went home but I seem to have fallen asleep at my desk…"

Kurogane was slightly annoyed, "It's five-thirty. School ends at three."

"Then I must have been really tired to sleep for so long!" Fai beamed his usual cheery grin.

"Hmm…" Kurogane glared at the other man suspiciously.

"Why are _you _here so late?"

"I was cleaning the sports room."

"Oh right… Well…I think I should probably go then, right? You too Kuro-cheek…and, yeah…" Fai spoke his words at double pace and scampered out of the room before Kurogane could ask him any more questions. The PE teacher was willing to admit he was a little concerned. Fai had been tired a lot lately.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to all my reviewers! **I love hearing what you think, it's your comments that keep me typing. :)

**Title:** It's Complicated…  
**Main Characters:** Kurogane, Fai and Ashura  
**Rating:** T for implied adult scenes and some violence  
**Setting:** the alternate universe of Horitsuba, Kurogane is a PE teacher and Fai is a science teacher. The world is a variation of the one we live in; the country Fai and Kurogane live in is a mixture of Japan, America and Australia. References to a place like Hawaii will appear later.  
**Description:** Kurogane's life is rather uneventful, that is until he meets the strange and somewhat eccentric teacher Fai. He knows the blonde is hiding something, and it bothers him - no matter how much he tries to convince himself he shouldn't care.

Chapter Four

Fai breathed a sigh of relief when he pulled his car into the driveway. There were no lights on, and no pot plants had been knocked over at the front door. Nobody was home. Nevertheless, he opened the door with care and tip toed through his house, mostly out of habit. Scoping every room he passed confirmed his earlier suspicions, his home was disturbingly empty. Fai knew this meant he could actually have dinner or watch television – but he decided to stick to routine. He would lock himself in his bedroom just in case, and push as many things up against the door as possible.  
_Maybe I do have time to just grab a few snacks and magazines, _Fai thought, his stomach growling in agreement. He had only eaten an hour ago, but he was already hungry again. Plus, he could hide a stash from the kitchen to keep him satisfied all week.

Quick as a flash he found a plastic bag and stuffed as much food in it as he could before scampering towards his room. He didn't breathe until he heard the lock on his door softly click into place. He was safe now – or so he thought until a low, threatening voice pierced the silence.

"_Hello Fai…I'm glad you're home. I've been waiting for you," _the man slurred.

Fai's knees gave way and he collapsed to the ground, completely weakened by the considered his options as the dark, looming figure approached slowly from the other side of the room. There was no time to unlock the door and get out; the other man was significantly larger than Fai and the only window in the room was not only far above the ground outside, but also directly above a thorny bush. Feeling what little energy he had left trickle out every second, the blonde decided to accept his fate once again.

o-o-o

Fai was late to school. Fai was _never _late to school. Kurogane knew something was wrong the second he heard the morning bell ring and there was still no sign of the science teacher. The rest of the staff were just as surprised, apparently Fai had been the first to arrive and last to leave every day for the past two or so years– despite sickness or slow traffic. After hearing this Kurogane felt thoroughly concerned, though he would never admit it, and marched down to the lab to double check. Fai still wasn't there. The second bell was approaching and he knew he had to get to class, but he just couldn't leave until the blonde was at school.

_Goddamnit! Ever since I met him all I can think about is that stupid idiotic blonde! Why can't I just forget about him?  
_  
Kurogane had never given a second thought to anyone but himself, but now he didn't care if he broke every limb in his body – as long as he knew Fai was okay.

_What if the fool had a car accident? What if he is being rushed to hospital right now? What if-  
_He was cut short.

Kurogane had been so caught up in his thoughts he hadn't even noticed that Fai had been standing in front of him for quite some time. So many emotions were building up inside his body; anger, confusion, frustration – even relief. Unsure as to how he should react, Kurogane simply shot an icy glare at the pale man before walking away, leaving a terribly skinny Fai solemnly gazing after him. This time there was no happy chirping, no smiles, no surprise hugs or greetings; Fai was only cold and empty.

The rest of the morning was the most exhausting Kurogane had ever experienced. He couldn't stop wondering what the reasons behind Fai's strange behaviour were. The more situations he came up with, the more emotionally strained he became. When lunch finally rolled around he wasn't surprised when another note appeared on his desk.

_I will not be eating lunch with you today. Yours is on your desk again._

_Fai_

There was no silly nickname, no cheerful excuse and most of all no 'love, your Fai'. Instead of going down to the lab anyway like he had the day before, Kurogane stayed in his room and ate alone in silence.

It would not have been so bad had the same thing not happened the next day, and the next day and the next. Fai arrived late to school and did not eat lunch with Kurogane – in fact the fifth day there wasn't even a note. Something was definitely very wrong, and Kurogane just couldn't take not knowing what it was one second longer. He ran down the many corridors to the science lab and burst through the door with such force that it almost came off its hinges.

"Enough! Enough avoiding me. What the hell is going on?" he shouted the blonde.

Fai was not sleeping, or eating for that matter. He was just sitting at his desk staring at the wall; he didn't even seem surprised at Kurogane's abrupt entrance.

"I don't understand your question." Fai replied quietly.

"You understand perfectly damn well what I'm asking you! Why've you been so late to school this week? Why are you refusing to eat with me?" Kurogane spat back, feeling his face grow hotter.

Fai turned his head and faced Kurogane, "I've been getting here at the same time as everybody else, and I've not been late. I wasn't aware our lunch meetings were obligatory. You didn't want to eat with me at first, but you changed your mind. Am I not entitled to changing my mind also?"

Kurogane was sure his head was about to explode. _Why is he being like this?_

"Bloody hell! Don't act all cool and calm! One day you're bright and bubbly, the next you act like you've just murdered someone! Just tell me what's going on, something's wrong – so what the hell is it and what does it have to do with me?" he yelled furiously.

Fai suddenly turned vicious, his eyes narrowing dangerously, "It has absolutely _nothing _to do with you!"

By now Kurogane had stormed right up to the lithe man and grabbed his collar, pulling him up so their faces were in line. He could feel Fai's short, sharp and cool breath brush over his cheeks.

"Let me go." He said firmly. The blonde did not meet Kurogane's eyes, but winced slightly when the grip around his collar tightened. His cold exterior seemed to shatter in that moment and he felt his bottom lip begin to quiver.

"Please…" His voice was barely audible and his words came out a little strained, "…please Kurogane, please let me go…"

Kurogane unexpectedly did exactly that. He was so shocked, even a little hurt when Fai said his full name, that it caused his brain to momentarily shut down. The science teacher took this as an opportunity to escape. However, a small flicker of purple that had been previously hiding under Fai's long coat caught Kurogane's eye and snapped him out of his trance. He grabbed the other man's arm before he could leave the room. Realising what was about to happen, Fai turned away, not wanting to see the P.E. teacher's reaction. Kurogane slowly pulled back the long white sleeve and all feelings of anger left him. The now exposed arm was a canvas of purple and yellow, covered in an array of different sized cuts and bruises – some recent and others weeks old.

Kurogane ran one hand across the beaten skin and asked quietly, "Who did this?"

"It's nothing." Fai muttered ripping his limb out of the stunned teacher's hands.

"That's not nothing!" he shouted, suddenly angry again – though not at Fai, instead at the mystery attacker.

"Yes it is."

"Tell me how it happened."

"I fell down some stairs."

"Bullshit! Someone hit you, who was it?"

Fai's calm façade was starting to wilt away. Fighting back tears he cried, "Just leave it alone! Why do you even care?"

Kurogane had been asking himself the same thing ever since the start of the week and had still reached no conclusions.

"Why do you let it keep happening?" he mumbled, "If it's been going on for so long, why don't you tell someone? Have them arrested."

Fai could fight no longer; he let the tears flow endlessly down his pale cheeks.

"Kurogane…you don't understand…please just leave me alone."

"No! Tell me why!" he fumed, wishing Fai would stop crying. Kurogane advanced on the man once more and reached for his arm, but dropped his hand and his eyes when Fai flinched, "Tell me why…"

Fai whipped around and began to walk out of the room, but paused at the doorway, "You don't understand…it's complicated…"

When Kurogane looked back up, Fai was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

Note: This chapter turned out a little darker than expected. I don't know where it came from, but I'm putting a warning here that physical abuse is involved.

Extra note: You know something? Disclaimers are silly. This is a website entirely devoted to using other people's copyrighted characters - everybody knows they don't belong to the author. From this day forth I vow to never put a disclaimer in my author's notes ever again - unless absolutely necessary or for humorous reasons. :) Anyway, adieu!

**Title:** It's Complicated…  
**Main Characters:** Kurogane, Fai and Ashura  
**Rating:** T for implied adult scenes and some violence  
**Setting:** the alternate universe of Horitsuba, Kurogane is a PE teacher and Fai is a science teacher. The world is a variation of the one we live in; the country Fai and Kurogane live in is a mixture of Japan, America and Australia. References to a place like Hawaii will appear later.  
**Description:** Kurogane's life is rather uneventful, that is until he meets the strange and somewhat eccentric teacher Fai. He knows the blonde is hiding something, and it bothers him - no matter how much he tries to convince himself he shouldn't care.

Chapter Five

Fai made no effort to be quiet when he returned home that night. It was nearly six-thirty, far later than usual. He was so worn out he figured he might as well just surrender instead of trying to hide, he always lost anyway. Dropping his things just inside the door, Fai then made a beeline for his room – hoping _he _wouldn't be there. Of course no such luck existed.

"You're late." The voice came from the lounge room, and as per usual it contained a slight slur.  
_He's drunk…again…how could I expect anything else?_

"You're late Fai. I've been waiting for an hour. You know how much I hate waiting don't you?"

The tall man crossed the room and stood within inches of the quivering teacher. He lifted a long pale finger and stroked Fai's neck dangerously, whispering sweetly in his ear. "Don't you have something you should say, Fai?"

Fai used every muscle in his body to stop from flinching away, knowing it would only end badly.  
"I-I" he choked, "I'm sorry Ashura."

"Excuse me?" Ashura wrapped his fingers around Fai's neck and squeezed threateningly, "What was that?"

"Ash-shura –_s-sama_. I'm s-sorry Ashura-sama."

"Aah, that's better isn't it?"

"Y-yes, Ashura-s-sama."

Fai could smell the stench of alcohol on the long-haired man's breath. It was nauseating, but he ignored it for his own safety. Ashura released his grip on Fai's slender neck, but instead grabbed his arm. The bruises throbbed and sent a sharp sting all the way up his spine. He tried with all of his might, but Fai just couldn't withstand the pain. A muffled whimper was released from his lips.

"What was that? You dare complain?" Ashura demanded, fuming slightly.

Fai was terrified; he knew one wrong word could mean the worst for him, so he simply shook his head.

"Then come on." Ashura continued to drag Fai towards the bedroom however this time Fai couldn't stay quiet, he cried out loud in pain.

_"What…now?" _The dark haired man's words were low and dangerous, rather than slightly annoyed. Fai was really pushing it.

"A-Ashura-sama…I don't want…I mean…I can't…I…"

"Spit it out Fai!"

Fai winced as the hands clamping around his injured wrist tightened, "Ashura-sama! Please…please, I'm tired and I don't feel well. Please not tonight, I don't want to tonight…"

He shouldn't have said it - he _knew_he shouldn't have said it - but a part of him still believed the real Ashura was there somewhere. Not the drunken monster he had turned into. Of course that was wishful thinking, it only made him mad. Or rather, furious.

"How dare you!" The alcoholic screamed, as he lifted his other palm.

"No! Please!" Fai cried, but it was too late. The hand came crashing down upon his face and fell to the ground with a sickening crunch. His cheek burned as hot as embers and he was sure he had broken something. Ashura had not let go of Fai's other arm, he pulled the blonde of the ground and slammed him up against the wall, gripping his neck once more.

"How dare you refuse me!" he growled angrily, twisting Fai's neck. He was choking, and he couldn't breathe but his survival instincts somehow helped him speak.

"P-lease! Please… A-shu-ra-sa-ma! Stop…stop…it…you're…cho…king me!"

Throwing Fai across the room once more, Ahsura began to continually kick him with every word, "Well, Fai, maybe it will teach you a lesson! You should just shut your mouth and do as I say."

The world around Fai began to turn to black, but he fought the beginning of unconsciousness in fear of his life.

"Ashura-sama…this…isn't you! You…never…used…to…be…like this! It's the alcohol Ashura…please stop…this…isn't you!"

Screaming in agony, Fai wondered why the neighbours never heard – or if they did why they took no action. Kick after kick – Ashura's foot pounded into Fai's thin and bony body. The boots the drunken man was wearing were steel-capped, and pierced Fai's delicate skin. A thick red liquid oozed through his shirt and soon Fai was coughing up the same substance. The sight of blood frightened the battered man to the point of insanity. A sudden rush of energy overwhelmed him and he broke free of Ashura's tyranny. Running faster than he ever had in his life, Fai reached for the handle to their room, leaped inside and slammed the door shut with a resonating bang. He locked it and dragged the bed over to keep it from being opened should Ashura pick the lock again.

"Open the door Fai," Ahsura's voice filtered through the door.

Fai's words were quiet and shook with emotion, "I-I can't," he whispered.

"_Open _the _door _Fai!" Ashura said again, more forcefully. It wasn't a request, it was a demand, "Open the damn door!"

"I can't! You know I can't!" Fai cried.

"You open this goddamn door or I'm going to break it down!" Ashura screamed, bashing his fists furiously against the wood. Fai listened to the thumping as it slowly died down and disappeared, he knew what was coming next.

He waited, holding his breath as he quivered in the farthest corner of the room. It wasn't long before a colossal crash sounded against the door, the object that had impacted splintering the wood. Fai flinched as another crash reached his ears…and another…he winced after every thump, screwing his eyes shut in an effort to stop his tears. Ashura threw anything he could find: books, cups, plates, knives – even a toaster. He was screaming too, screaming about what he was going to do the moment he got the door open. Fai just sat and waited, the salty tears flooding his eyes and drenching his cheeks. His body was aching from the abuse, his arm surely broken, and his shirt was stained with blood. Fai closed his eyes as tried to block out the world around him, his last method of defence. Somehow, Ashura's rampage slowly faded to the back of his mind and the noise ceased.

Fai was lying on a beach – the wind blowing soothingly through his hair and the sun dancing across his smooth, pale skin. The sand was soft and relaxing, like a natural cushion for his tired body. There was not a man-made sound to be heard, just the gentle whisper of the waves as they lulled lazily up and down the shore. Nothing else existed or mattered – he was alone and completely happy. He allowed his heavy eyelids to shut as he drank in the serenity of the scene. Somewhere near the shore a child laughed and when Fai sat up to investigate, he discovered the beach had transformed. He was surrounded by excited families and couples as they enjoyed the resort he was now at. Rising to his feet, Fai meandered towards a small, inviting cocktail stand and took shelter from the sun under the bamboo roof. Before he had a chance to order, a tall glass filled with colourful liquid appeared under his nose, handed to him by a smiling young man. The man was handsome with a slender face and long, flowing dark hair that splayed across his shoulders. Fai grinned back and introduced himself.

The scenery changed again, the beach morphing into a sunny and luscious green park. Two strong arms snaked teasingly around Fai's waist and as he turned he discovered they belonged to the man from the bar. The man let a caressing hand brush Fai's cheek before closing the space between them. Fai's head spun in circles, giddy with happiness as the man kissed him tenderly.

They were lying in the shade of a tree, wrapped in each other's arms and not caring for anything else in the world. Birds chirped merrily above them and Fai snuggled closer to the dark-haired man. Resting his head upon his lover's warm chest, he let the rhythmic beating of the man's heart lull him into a deep and pleasant sleep.

Somewhere, in the terrible, dark and cold reality a very different Fai, too, fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Hello my dear, devoted and absolutely wonderful readers! First of all I would like to thank each and every one of you for sticking with me and this story despite the fact I rarely update. It means so much to me when I think nobody reads anymore and then another review pops up in my email inbox and I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. :) I have many reviews I am still yet to reply to, but I promise I will no matter what. I would also like to apologise to my readers for the hiatus on "It's Complicated..." and, as I've said, it means a lot to me that people are still reading it or still have me on their alert list.

Now, on to other matters. I'd like to happily inform you that for the past nine weeks I have been mercilessly working on this story and it's not even half done, so I think this story is going to be an epic. Please don't let me scare you away though! Anyway, in that time I've also been seriously editing and polishing up the already posted chapters. There are serious changes, not to the storyline but whole paragraphs have been added to help explain things a little better and help it flow. I've also fixed some parts that were a bit out of character, especially for Kurogane. If you are interested, re-reading the first five chapters could reveal something new for you and make me feel happy about taking the time to edit. Knowing me I'm probably going to keep fixing it because I'm an absolute perfectionist. I'll tell you if there are any more updates. For now though, look forward to some new and grand chappies and with that the introduction of some new recurring side-characters! ^^ Yay for thickening plots!

**Title:** It's Complicated…  
**Main Characters:** Kurogane, Fai and Ashura  
**Rating:** T for implied adult scenes and some violence  
**Setting:** the alternate universe of Horitsuba, Kurogane is a PE teacher and Fai is a science teacher. The world is a variation of the one we live in; the country Fai and Kurogane live in is a mixture of Japan, America and Australia. References to a place like Hawaii will appear later.  
**Description:** Kurogane's life is rather uneventful, that is until he meets the strange and somewhat eccentric teacher Fai. He knows the blonde is hiding something, and it bothers him - no matter how much he tries to convince himself he shouldn't care.

Chapter Six

"Kurogane! I'm here, help me!" Fai's shrill voice called through the darkness. He sounded so very scared and hysterical – Kurogane wanted nothing more than to find the pale man and wrap his strong arms protectively around his lithe frame. He ran to the voice as it screamed for him again and again, but he was doomed to never reach it. Fai seemed to be getting further away the closer Kurogane came. The blonde was in danger, he was hurting and there was nothing Kurogane could do.

Forcing himself out of the nightmare, Kurogane sat exhausted and sweating in his bed. Running a hand through his black, spiky hair, he groaned in exasperation. It was the third time he'd woken up that night.

"Oh for God's sake!" he cried out to the still night. "This is ridiculous, now I can't even sleep without _him _being there?" He murmured to himself, letting his head fall into his clammy hands. He didn't care, he _shouldn't _care, what happened to the idiot outside of work. It was none of his goddamned business, so why the hell couldn't he leave it alone? It wasn't like they were friends anyway; they only ate lunch together and had only known each other for ten or so weeks.

Shaking himself fully awake, Kurogane tried to forget what he'd been feeling in the nightmare – _dream – _and simply put it down to the fact that he had no control over his thoughts or emotions when unconscious. He absolutely did _not _want to wrap a single limb around said idiot blonde _ever. _He was sure the teacher was just fine; those bruises weren't necessarily what he thought they were, right? Perhaps Fai took part in a little underground fight-club activities? Kurogane snorted at that last thought. It was positively ludicrous, but he wouldn't put it past the fool.

A glance at his alarm clock informed Kurogane that really, there was no point going back to sleep – it was already six in the morning. Sighing tiredly, he dragged himself out of bed and ignored the fact that, for a brief moment, his blue based bedside lamp with its warm yellow shade reminded him a little too much of a certain idiotic teacher.

o-o-o

Moving the bed out of the doorway seemed really a far too momentous task at that moment, Fai thought, staring at the patterned duvet remorsefully from his position in the corner of the room. He hadn't shifted since he'd woken up as every time he attempted to stand his bruised ribs and arm sent him a sharp reminder of the previous night's events. Fai knew he needed to get out, but even if he did manage to manoeuvre the massive wooden four-poster back to its original position there could be no guarantee Ashura wouldn't be waiting for him outside. There was also every possibility he was still fast asleep, but Fai didn't want to take that chance. He checked his watch – it was three in the afternoon – and heaved a sigh of relief that it was the weekend. The last thing he needed was to miss a day of school and have to explain why; it could lead to a very sticky situation. The mouse that was Teru Hashimoto was dead scared of Fai, but even he had to admit dodging something like this would be difficult. Nevertheless, school or no school, he had to get his injuries sorted out fast.

Fai scanned the room and considered his options. He tried moving again and, with a lot of teeth grinding and grunts, was successful in at least standing up. It was incredibly painful though, so he ruled out using the conventional room exit indefinitely. When he'd dragged the bed over the night before he'd been powered by adrenaline and fear, it was therefore a feat no longer possible in his state. His mobile phone was still in his jacket pocket – he could possibly call someone for help, but that would involve explanations so that was too forgotten. The only other way out of the room was through the small window that was located directly above a wild and unpruned thorny bush. Fai had often thought about escaping through that window when confronted by Ashura but had never gathered the courage to follow such a thought through. Now it seemed the time had finally come for him to man up and _jump._

Pulling the bedside table under the window, a difficult task but at least it was lighter than the bed, Fai gingerly climbed atop and dragged open the window. When he finally managed to clamber over the sill, his legs dangling off the edge, and found himself staring straight into the pits of Hell, he considered maybe the bed was a better option.  
"Oh well," he sighed, wincing as he bumped his arm, "I'm here now. Here goes nothing!" And with that, he jumped.

Fai tried his best to miss the majority of the bush and managed with some success, feeling only a few thorns scratch his legs and arms. He toppled over from the shaky land and rolled into the edge of the shrub, cursing as more needles pierced his skin. Precariously getting to his feet, Fai brushed himself off and hobbled to his car – thankful that he also still had the keys in his pocket.

o-o-o

A sudden gust of wind brushed through the house, parting aged green curtains and allowing sunlight to stream into the eyes of the unconscious man. The blinding beam of light illuminated all the tiny dust particles floating about, engaging them in a fleeting afternoon dance. However, the beautiful moment was lost on the man as he groaned and covered his shut eyes in an effort to darken his world once more. He didn't want to wake up, not yet. His head was thumping louder than the bass in his favourite club and something churned in the pit of his stomach assuring him that if he moved, he'd surely bring up last night's dinner. Then again…he couldn't actually remember eating dinner so maybe he'd be safe.

The rumbling of a car engine outside finally roused him fully awake, causing him to become unfortunately aware of the fact that he was lying in a pool of his own vomit – his long black hair tangled in disgusting disarray around his shoulders. He had also apparently passed out on the kitchen floor.

Ashura groaned as he looked about himself, the house was a mess and he felt like shit. God, he needed a drink. Somehow managing to scramble to his feet, Ashura stumbled to the bathroom and immediately into the shower, stopping only briefly to empty his stomach into the toilet bowel.

The hot, steaming shower water rushed soothingly over his grubby body and felt great after his night on the linoleum floor. Ashura leaned his throbbing head against the cool tiles of the shower walls and let his eyes flutter shut. He tried his best to recall what exactly had happened that left him sprawled by the oven covered in sick, but the night's events only seemed like a blur. In fact, the last fourteen days seemed like a blur. Try as he may, Ashura really couldn't remember much of the past two or so weeks. _Be honest, _he thought grimly, _you can't remember much of the past two or so years…_

Flashes of memory came back to him – snippets here and there that allowed him to fill in the gaps. He thought harder specifically about the events leading up to him passing out, but all his mind could focus on was how much he needed a scotch. Or a beer, or sake, or vodka, or wine – he'd probably even settle for lighter fluid if there was no alcohol in the house. He'd attacked the bottle more vigorously than usual the previous night and as a result had a terrible hangover. The only remedy was to quell the pain with more booze, in his opinion.

Finally falling out of the shower (and making a quick duck to the toilet bowel again) Ashura wrapped a towel around his waist and began to gather his dirty clothes. He grimaced at the foul stench of his shirt and instead reached for his boots – and suddenly he felt his stomach fall, churning even worse than before. On the very tip of one of his boots…there was blood.

Ashura suddenly saw the entire night replay in his mind like a scene from a horror movie. He turned to the toilet as another bout of sickness overcame him, only this time it wasn't because of the alcohol. "Oh God!" he cried, bringing his hands to his face as tears streamed from his eyes, "Oh God, oh God, oh God…this can't be happening!"

He'd done it again, even though he'd promised over and over he wouldn't let it happen, he'd harmed the only person who might still love him _again. _When Ashura drank too much he lost his temper, he couldn't help it! He knew he hurt Fai in little ways sometimes, grabbed his arm too tightly or acted too forceful. But sometimes the alcohol made him lose his head and he became another person entirely, one he couldn't control. He knew this and _still _continued to drink. Ashura loved Fai; he honestly did, and never meant to harm him. It was just a rough patch; they both knew things would turn around soon. In fact they nearly had, Ashura had been so sure the job interview he'd been to yesterday morning would be the answer to his problems. But when he was declined yet again, it made him so angry all he wanted to do was drink his sorrows away. Look where that had gotten him.

"Oh God, Fai!" Ashura suddenly cried, jumping to his feet and rushing to their bedroom. The door was locked and he noticed in absolute horror that it was now splintered from a brutal attack with a kitchen knife, among other items. "Fai?" he called, "Fai are you in there?" When there was no reply, another thought occurred to him and he ran to the carport – stopping breathlessly when he found it empty. The engine that woke him must have been Fai leaving, he deduced, at least that meant he was okay – okay enough to drive. Ashura stumbled back into the house and collapsed onto the couch, letting his hysterical sobs take over – his body trembling into oblivion. How could he have let this happen again? Fai was surely never coming back and how could he blame him? He could never forgive himself for this so he hardly expected Fai to.

An empty wine bottle poking out from underneath the couch caught Ashura's attention. He sat up and glared at it furiously. "This is all your fault!" he screamed, picking the bottle up and throwing it against the wall where it shattered into countless shimmering fragments. "This is _all your_ fault!" Why did he keep drinking when he _knew _it turned him into a monster? Why couldn't he stop? He tried time and time again, but always failed. Sometimes he would last a few days, but then just another damn road block would throw his life off balance again and the only solution was to drink and forget. It worked; it didn't bother him…unless Fai suffered.

Ashura flopped back onto the couch and closed his eyes to the destruction around him. Things had gone too far, he couldn't remember every detail from the night before but the blood on his boots was enough. It had to stop, _for good. _He would stop drinking, sober up forever and apologise. He'd be lucky if Fai even spoke to him ever again.

Dragging himself from the seat, Ashura changed into fresh clothes and set to work on the mess in the kitchen. He mopped up the vomit and put all the strewn utensils back into their rightful places. Then, his guilt overpowering the agonising pain in his head, he began to clean everything else. Before Fai came home, he would have the house back in the state it was when they bought it – it was the least he could do.


	7. Chapter 7

To apologise for my hiatus, I am posting more than one chapter! Aren't you lucky? Please enjoy!

**Title:** It's Complicated…  
**Main Characters:** Kurogane, Fai and Ashura  
**Rating:** T for implied adult scenes and some violence  
**Setting:** the alternate universe of Horitsuba, Kurogane is a PE teacher and Fai is a science teacher. The world is a variation of the one we live in; the country Fai and Kurogane live in is a mixture of Japan, America and Australia. References to a place like Hawaii will appear later.  
**Description:** Kurogane's life is rather uneventful, that is until he meets the strange and somewhat eccentric teacher Fai. He knows the blonde is hiding something, and it bothers him - no matter how much he tries to convince himself he shouldn't care.

Chapter Seven

Fai sat at the wheel of his car and scrutinised the poky white house he was parked in front of.  
"It's past noon on a Saturday," Fai mumbled to himself, "he's sure to be in." Taking a deep breath he stepped out of the car, approached the front door and knocked tentatively. A few moments later, the door swung open and Fai was greeted with a mop of long brown hair tied into a loose ponytail, the owner of said hair a pale faced man with round spectacles perched on the tip of his nose.

"Why hello there, Kyle-sensei!" Fai chimed, forcing a grin to cover his wincing.

Kyle gaped at him in surprise for a moment and was about to admonish him for calling him "sensei" again when he noticed the coloured mark on Fai's cheek. His shoulders slumped and he stepped aside grimfaced.

"Come in Fai." He sighed flatly. Fai nodded in thanks and crossed through to the lounge room.

It was a simple space with walls of brown and littered with odd paintings and old fake pot plants. There was only one sofa chair positioned directly in front of the television with no coffee table in between. A small and obviously unused bar was situated to the right of the room, the bottle shelves mostly empty and in need of a serious dusting. The place cried of a man who lived alone and who rarely entertained. Though of course, Fai already knew this. It was one of the reasons he kept coming back, Kyle wasn't likely to ever have company. Nobody would see him, nobody to ask questions.

Kyle joined Fai by the sofa and studied the fake smile plastered to his face. "What happened this time?" he asked when the silence threatened to become awkward.

Fai's grin turned bitter as he attempted to shrug noncommittally, "Oh you know, the partner and I had a difference of opinion. Didn't end well as you can see." He added, waving at his cheek.

"That's not a difference of opinion," was the reply, "that's a violent argument."

"I prefer to call it a 'heated debate'." Fai countered, daring Kyle to argue.

Taking the hint, Kyle changed the subject. "How did you know I'd be home?"

"It's Saturday. You never work on a Saturday. Though of course there was a _very _real possibility you might have gone out, but I decided to take the chance." Fai drawled sarcastically, raising an eyebrow at the question.

Kyle rolled his eyes and gestured for Fai to take a seat at a nearby bar stool. "All right, come on then, let me check you out. I'm assuming that's why you're here; it's always why you're here."

"Gee, thanks Doc!" Fai beamed with faked enthusiasm.

He glared at the blonde, "And don't call me that. _Or _sensei."

Kyle first started by examining the darkening bruise on the teacher's face, checking for other marks at the same time. Happy that it was fairly superficial – a week or so and it would clear up – he motioned for Fai to remove his long coat. Doing so hesitantly, Fai manoeuvred himself out of the sleeves. He flinched when he moved his injured arm, summoning a frown from Kyle.

A small patch of blood on Fai's shirt caught Kyle's attention before he noticed the man's beaten arms and he immediately began to unbutton it. Fai looked away and grimaced when Kyle gasped in horror.

"Jesus Fai!" he cried, eyes widening at the sight of the man's scarred and damaged skin. There were multiple bruises around his ribs and in various places there were cuts covered in freshly dried blood. The injuries, from Kyle's experience, appeared to have been delivered by a single object beating the torso again and again until the skin was broken and bleeding. Kyle had a definite hunch the object was a fist or shoe – most likely the latter. He ran his hand gentle over the injuries, Fai's sharp intake of breath from the contact causing him to draw back instantly.

Kyle lifted his gaze to meet Fai's – his expression dark. "This is more than a violent argument or heated debate -," he said sternly, "this is serious abuse."

Fai tried to stay in control, hoping to convey nonchalance as she shrugged his shoulders. Kyle only frowned deeper.

"Don't you dare try to pass this off as nothing, Fai." He said angrily. "Last time this happened you told me you two had sorted things out, that this was going to stop - "

"It did stop." Fai interrupted.

"Evidently not."

Fai froze, his lips pulling into a thin line and his eyes darkening strangely. When he eventually moved, he glanced down at his battered chest and let go of a breath he was unaware he'd been holding. "It stopped for a while, I swear." He said, "But he's just been through another rough patch and he didn't mean it, he really didn't. It was a once off."

Kyle's eyes widened sceptically. "A once off?" he cried incredulously, "Fai, you could have been killed! And I'm telling you if he did it he bloody well meant it!"

The teacher's piercing blue eyes suddenly snapped up to meet Kyle's grey ones, narrowing dangerously. His voice was barely a whisper as he warned, "Don't you _dare _say that about him, you don't even know him. What happens between us is _none_ of your business, have you got that?"

Kyle stepped back from the chair and crossed his arms, trying to gain an air of command over the obviously distressed man. Levelling Fai with a glare he said, "As long as you keep crawling back to me for patch ups every time 'his royal bastard-ness' loses his cool, Fai, it's _completely_ my business." He sighed and moved forward again, continuing his examination. "I can't keep doing this for you, you know. I'm risking my job by treating you like this, it's illegal."

"I know…" Fai replied quietly, "…but I can't go anywhere else. They'd ask too many questions."

Kyle looked up at Fai again, some what morosely, and murmured, "Whether you like it or not, you're my friend and I care about you. So you know if this ever happens again I'm going to have to call the police. I'll have to say something, turn him in. You know that, right?"

Fai smiled bitterly as hands ghosted over his ribs, checking for cracks or breaks. He leant in and whispered into Kyle's ear, voice tinged with sadness, "That's what you said last time."

This time the doctor had no reply.

* * *

And so begins the introduction of some side-characters. A note to my readers, this story centres around the relationship between Fai and Kurogane, yes, but also Fai and Ashura along with some side-plots. It's not a single character or pairing-centric fic as I believe there is always more than one side to a story, so I need to tell them all. Fai may seem a little out of character in these chapters, however I didn't want to capture them as they are seen in the manga exactly. I wanted to separate them from their canon selves and put them in a real-life situation where responses would differ slightly, while still retaining the 'feel' of who they are. While Fai is still the happy-go-lucky, smiles to hide his pain guy we all know, he has relapses and occasionally has to give in. The Fai you see in this chapter is similar to the one post-Tokyo in a way. Also, Kyle is not evil. It's an alternate universe, my friends!


	8. Chapter 8

To apologise for my hiatus, I am posting more than one chapter! Aren't you lucky? Please enjoy!

**Title:** It's Complicated…  
**Main Characters:** Kurogane, Fai and Ashura  
**Rating:** T for implied adult scenes and some violence  
**Setting:** the alternate universe of Horitsuba, Kurogane is a PE teacher and Fai is a science teacher. The world is a variation of the one we live in; the country Fai and Kurogane live in is a mixture of Japan, America and Australia. References to a place like Hawaii will appear later.  
**Description:** Kurogane's life is rather uneventful, that is until he meets the strange and somewhat eccentric teacher Fai. He knows the blonde is hiding something, and it bothers him - no matter how much he tries to convince himself he shouldn't care.

Chapter Eight

Kyle sighed as he slid into his car and started the engine. He'd finished examining Fai and deduced that the only serious and lasting damage was that he had badly sprained his wrist. Not broken, as Fai had assumed, but close enough. The rest of the marks and bruises would hurt like hell but would clear up within a few weeks with the proper care and medication. Unfortunately said medication was only available via prescription and a visit to the local medical centre's pharmacy. So, naturally, Kyle was preparing to drive all the way – albeit a short way – to his work in order to sneak out some supplies for his friend. He was crazy, it was completely illegal to diagnose and medicate a patient unofficially, but how could he say no to Fai? They'd been friends for years. At least the medical centre wasn't far; it was times like this he was glad he lived only ten minutes away from work.

While he was out, Kyle had left Fai with spare clothes so he could shower and wash his wounds. He'd also put Fai's own clothes in the washing machine before he left, feeling incredibly miserable for his friend. They had mostly spent the rest of the examination in silence after their little spat, Fai especially was uncharacteristically quiet. It troubled Kyle to see the blonde so upset, he was usually bright and bubbly. Whatever was happening with Ashura, Kyle wanted nothing more than to make it stop. He felt so utterly helpless and wished there was something more he could do – if only Fai would let him.

The car pulled to a stop in Kyle's designated park and he stepped out as quietly as possible. He took the back entrance, crept down the hallway and very nearly made it through his office door unseen when a timid female voice behind him stopped him in his tracks.

"Oh! Doctor Rondart!" the young woman yelped in surprise, "I didn't expect to see you here sir, isn't it your day off?" She had a tray of filled cups in her hands, obviously on the coffee run.

Kyle groaned and tried his best to smile at her reassuringly. It was Mariko, his short, young and incredibly clueless receptionist. She was so very kind and meant well, in fact she was training to become a nurse, but she always seemed to appear at the most inopportune times. Nevertheless it was impossible for Kyle to be angry or irritated with her, every time he saw her smile it lit up the room and made him forget whatever silly little thing she'd done wrong again.

"It is, I was just popping in to get something I forgot to take home yesterday," he said, Sighing as he planted a hand on her shoulder.

Mariko beamed back at him, "Of course. But it's good to see you again sir!"

"You only saw me yesterday!" Kyle laughed.

"I-I know!" Mariko stammered, clearly embarrassed, "I just meant…that, um, that it's…just _always _good to see you…sir…"

Kyle was grinning from ear to ear; she was so utterly hopeless it was almost _adorable. _Without thinking he moved his hand from her shoulder and brushed a strand of brown hair away from her eyes, letting his fingers rest gently on her cheek. Mariko's face turned scarlet and her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

"S-sir?" she muttered, breathlessly.

Kyle withdrew his hand in shock and turned back to his door to hide his own blush. _I can't believe I did that! _He thought angrily. Mariko's high spirits seemed to falter once Kyle turned his back on her and she began to slink away.

"Wait, Mariko!" Kyle said, hating to see her upset as much as he did Fai. She glanced back at him questioningly, hands beginning to shake from the weight of the coffee cups. "Uh, I've just got a few scripts I'd like you to take to the pharmacy for me once you're done, if that's alright."

Mariko's face once again broke into a radiant smile as if nothing had ever happened, "Of course sir! Right away." She then bounded off, nearly spilling the coffee in the process.

Kyle sighed in relief as he entered his office and signed off the painkiller and antiseptic cream prescriptions for Fai, under his own name to be safe. He stuffed some strapping tape, a wrist splint and the materials required to fashion a half-cast into his backpack, zipping it up just as Mariko came prancing back through the door. He handed her the scripts and she studied them curiously when she noticed they were for him.

"Is everything okay, Doctor Rondart?" she asked in concern.

"Oh, absolutely," he replied with a smile, "I just had a little fall this morning and bunged up my…er…elbow. A nasty gash and a bit of swelling, but I'll be fine in a week or so. "

Mariko gasped in horror, clearly not believing he was 'fine'. With some coercing and more reassuring smiles, Kyle finally managed to shoo her out of his office. Now all he had to do was think of some way to justify the other missing supplies, he supposed this time maybe an unexplained disappearance would do. Besides, he could always blame it on the re-stocking staff.

o-o-o

A cool breeze cut through the warm afternoon sun, refreshing Kurogane's sweaty skin. He was sitting on a park bench, eyes closed as he rested beneath the noisy birds chirping in the trees. There were three or four families around picnicking; going for a walk and otherwise relaxing like most people often do on a Saturday afternoon. Children giggled and shouted at each other on the playground, dogs yapped as they ran about off-leash and mothers gathered by the pond with their prams as they vied to best one another over who's was the most talented baby. Kurogane steadied his breathing and tried to let the atmosphere consume his thoughts. Unfortunately, he was never one for appreciating the serenity of a park and found the noises surrounding him more irritating than tranquil. Once again, flashes of what he'd seen earlier flooded back into his mind and he found himself in conflict over whether to believe he'd been hallucinating or not.

Kurogane had been walking to the shops for a few small supplies. He was crossing at the traffic lights, not really paying attention to anyone around him, when a car came to a screeching halt only a metre away from hitting him. He jumped aside and, once off the road, immediately began to curse at the driver for recklessness uncaring that his complaints would go unheard. It wasn't until the car went speeding off again that Kurogane realised he recognised it, he couldn't figure out where from but it definitely seemed familiar. Maybe he'd seen someone at work driving it? Kurogane tried to remember who was behind the wheel; they _had _seemed a little off. He thought he'd seen the driver slouched over the wheel and trembling, though Kurogane wasn't sure because they were only stopped for a few seconds. However, in those seconds he could have _sworn_ it was a skinny mop-haired blonde wearing a white lab-coat. _Someone from school… _He'd thought, _someone like…Fai? _

Feeling suddenly very, _very _angry with himself for thinking of the stupid, idiotic teacher _again, _Kurogane had abandoned his mission for supplies and instead set off for a very long and hopefully distracting run. These delusions were beginning to become a problem for him, he already saw the blonde everywhere he went – even in his dreams – and the last thing he needed was to be hallucinating about him in _public. _

But then…was it really a hallucination? Maybe he actually had seen Fai, it was entirely possible – it _was _a major road after all. So if he had, by pure coincidence, seen Fai – so what? That wasn't the problem. The problem was that he had seen a person cowering in fear or pain or _something _and who obviously wasn't paying much attention to the road – clearly their mind was somewhere else. Considering what had happened Friday afternoon…

Kurogane growled and bashed his fist on the park bench, frightening two children nearby away. Running hadn't helped and now he was getting hungry. Stomping back into town irritably, he grabbed the groceries he needed and made his way home. He could always ask the idiot on Monday whether or not he'd been driving through town, couldn't he? Easy solution, now all he had to do was forget about it all through Sunday…


	9. Chapter 9

****I know, can you believe it? Almost a year since my last update. Nevertheless, I always said I'd finish this story and I will. Hang in there guys.

Chapter Nine

When Kyle arrived with the medication he found Fai fast asleep on his lounge room sofa. He was sprawled in a fashion that suggested he'd merely been sitting there to wait and had accidentally let his tiredness get the better of him. Immediately concerned he may be lying on his damaged wrist, Kyle deposited the backpack by the couch and gently shook Fai awake. The blonde only grunted and rolled over, turning his back to Kyle.

"Come on, you have to wake up," he said softly, "I have to tend to your arm, remember?"

Fai's eyes slowly began to open and he shot Kyle a look of pure detestation. He was clearly both upset over having been woken and still in quite a lot of pain. Kyle helped the very begrudging Fai sit up, patting his hand reassuringly. He firstly gave Fai a dose of painkillers and applied some anti-inflammatory cream to his wounds. Kyle then gathered a few more tools and items from around his house, including a bucket of warm water for the half-cast strips, before diving into the backpack and setting to work.

Once Fai's sprained wrist was bound tightly in a cast and secured within a sling, Kyle cleared away the area and handed the teacher the boxes of medication.

"Alright," he said, "Just follow the instructions on the side exactly and you should be fine. The creams will help those nasty cuts and bruises of yours heal a little faster. Also, remember you have to eat something before taking the painkillers, otherwise you'll find yourself hanging over the toilet bowl."

Fai's lips lifted ever so slightly at the corners, the tiniest hint of a smile at that comment. It was almost inexistent but the doctor didn't miss it.

"If you're still feeling a lot of pain around your torso, you can bind it in strapping tape or bandages. Compression often helps. That cast has to stay on for at least four weeks, come see me again then," he continued.

Fai nodded as he stared at his lap; he was avoiding any eye contact in case Kyle guessed what he was thinking. His efforts were pointless though, they both knew the truth anyway. Fai wasn't coming back – not unless it was absolutely necessary. He would simply remove the cast himself once he was sure it had healed – if not he could use the splint. The blonde began to murmur something in the form of a thank-you but was interrupted by his own yawn. His eyelids were heavy, he could barely keep them open, but he had to fight his exhaustion in order to get home. Noticing how tired the teacher was, Kyle immediately kicked back into doctor mode and pushed his friend back onto the couch before he could properly stand to leave.

"You don't think you're driving home in this state do you?"Kyle asked sternly.

Fai shrugged noncommittally, "Sure. It's nothing, I'll be fine."

"No you won't. You'll doze off and hit a tree."Kyle said, shaking his head, "Get some sleep Fai, God knows you need it. You can stay here as long as you have to – for dinner if you want."

After a moment of deliberation, Fai smiled gratefully at Kyle as he was clearly not in any position to argue. He lay down and assumed his previous position, his sling-bound arm across his chest. Fai closed his eyes and let sleep steal him away to heal the wounds Kyle couldn't fix.

When Fai eventually woke several hours later, the sun had long since disappeared and a blanket of stars peeked through the lounge room window. It was probably around seven o'clock, Fai decided, as he could smell the beginnings of pumpkin soup wafting from the kitchen suggesting dinner was not too far away. Fai stretched his sore muscles out and gave his wrist an experimental wriggle, as much as he could with it in the cast. Standing slowly, he noticed a small satchel at the foot of the sofa labelled with his name. Inspecting it revealed it contained his clothes, medicine, bandages, instructions and everything else Kyle had issued him.

Quickly and quietly Fai changed back into his own clothing and grabbed the satchel as he headed for the door. He liked escaping silently, it avoided goodbyes. His hand was on the door knob when Kyle's voice echoed behind him.

"I thought you'd try this," he said sadly, "I guess packing everything for you only made it easier."

Fai turned and fixed the doctor with a plastered smile. "I was just saving you the pain of saying goodbye Kyle-sensei!" He grinned with fake enthusiasm.

Kyle frowned and took a step towards Fai, causing the blonde's façade to falter. "Don't give me that. We've been friends for too long, hellI've done too much for you to insult me with that crap."

Fai was silent. He couldn't bear to reply for fear of what he might say.

"Go on," Kyle growled, "Get out of here before I change my mind about calling the police on that bastard." He reached past Fai and opened the door, pushing the blonde outside in the process. Watching sombrely as his friend walked away, Kyle tried his best to control himself from begging Fai to never go back, to never get hurt again. Yet somehow he held on to the hope that the idiot was right and it was getting better. He had to believe, Ashura had been his friend too, after all.

Before Fai could completely disappear from view, Kyle called out to him. "Hey Fai," he said, causing the blonde to glance back at him.

"Yeah?"

Kyle leaned against his doorframe; shoulders slumped in the same way as when Fai had arrived. His voice took on a tone of bitterness as he replied, "It's usually customary, you know, for friends to part with a comment somewhere along the lines of 'see you soon'. But, for your sake Fai, considering the only the reason you ever visit me anymore, I hope I never have to see you again."

The doctor stayed there until the sound of Fai's car was far in the distance. He sighed as he went back inside and returned to his soup. _Please Fai, _he thought earnestly, _just take care of yourself. I can handle breaks and bruises but there's nothing I can do for a corpse._


	10. Chapter 10

I'm giving you two chapters at once again. Because I love you all so very much.

Chapter Ten

The house was eerily quiet when Fai arrived home. No lights were on and there was a strange smell about, something like a mixture of bleaches and air freshener. Fai wasn't at all surprised at the emptiness of the place; he'd fully expected Ashura to be out in a pub somewhere as per usual. He was, however, slightly puzzled by the strange aroma. As far he could remember he hadn't cleaned within the house for weeks.

Shrugging the issue off, Fai dropped his things by the door and reached for the main light switch. As the house was illuminated, he found himself gasping in pure astonishment. Instead of the bomb site he usually came home to, he was welcomed by the sight of a perfectly tidy and polished living room. It was almost as pristine as the day he and Ashura had moved in.

Feeling slightly bewildered, Fai wandered about the kitchen, living and lounge area, dragging his finger across every surface to check for dust or grime. The opening of cupboards revealed various items that had been previously strewn across the house were now jammed unceremoniously on top of one another in any available space. However, the cleanliness of the house was immaculate and could not be complained about.

As Fai finished his inspection, he found himself unwilling to believe was he was seeing. There was only one possible explanation for the state of his home and it was that Ashura was responsible. Such a thought seemed completely ridiculous, Ashura hadn't even touched a duster for years so how could Fai believe he had, in the space of one day, managed to spruce up the entire house?

"More than that," Fai muttered out loud to himself as he glanced around the room, "_why _did he do it?"

"To apologise," a voice replied quietly from the direction of the bedroom.

Fai nearly jumped out of his skin in surprise and he felt his heart begin to thump at double pace. He turned around slowly and eyed the shadow that was Ashura in fear, cursing himself for being so careless. Fai had been so sure nobody was home that he'd let his guard down. He felt the bruise on his cheek tingle as he backed away from the monster by his bedroom door.

"Fai, wait!" Ashura cried, obviously noticing the rapid change in his partner's body language. He took a cautious step forward into the light, his face betraying his sadness and pain due to Fai's actions.

Fai examined the older man's expression carefully, feeling his heart jump into his throat as he watched tears begin to form in his lover's eyes. There was no anger in those piercing irises, only guilt, sorrow and regret. Fai choked back his tears as he too stepped forward tentatively.

"A-Ashura? Is it you?" he asked quietly, not wishing to sound hopeful.

Ashura nodded his head gravely, understanding Fai's true meaning. "Yes," he answered sombrely, "It's me. Just me."

Fai took another step, "You're not…I mean you haven't been-"

"No," Ashura interrupted, fully aware Fai had been referring to his drinking. He gazed at the younger man earnestly, willing him to believe he was telling the truth.

Fai's head was spinning and he had to lean on the nearby sofa to stop himself from toppling over. Could it really be true? Was Ashura actually sober? Was the person standing before him the monster who he'd witnessed the previous night or the gentle man he'd fallen in love with? Returning home to a sober Ashura was a fantasy that constantly invaded his head, but rarely was it ever realised.

Ashura had walked in the centre of the room and was now barely two metres away from Fai. His gaze landed upon the blonde's arm as he tried to hide it awkwardly behind his back and he noticed the cast for the first time.

"Oh God…" Ashura breathed, unbearable guilt building up within him again. "Did I do that?"

The reply was nothing more than a nod, but it tore his world apart.

"I-I…" he choked, eyes welling with tears. "I'm sorry Fai! I'm _so_ sorry!" Ashura closed the gap between them in a flash and wrapped his arms around Fai's lithe body as his own began to tremble. He buried his head into the crook of Fai's neck to muffle his sobs, no longer able to contain them.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry!" he cried again and again, never hoping for forgiveness.

Fai stared ahead expressionless as Ashura fell apart around him, tears of his own trickling down his cheeks. Disregarding any inhibitions over how he really should be feeling or reacting, he closed his eyes and let his head fall against Ashura's. Lifting his good arm he placed it on his lover's back, softly returning the embrace.

When Ashura whimpered again that he was sorry, Fai stroked his long black hair and gently replied, "I know."

They stayed that way, delicately entwined, until Ashura stilled. His breath was shaky and hot on Fai's neck, which was now damp from his tears. Every inch of his body was aware of the beautiful blonde man in front of him, almost painfully so. Ashura wanted nothing more than to lose himself within Fai's golden hair and rosy lips but he suppressed such feelings in fear of hurting him again.

When he finally raised his head, moving away from the safety of Fai's shoulder, Ashura forced himself to gaze directly into the endless pools of blue that were his lover's eyes. They were the most stunning eyes he'd ever seen on a human and they both comforted and terrified him. Ashura expected to see them full of hatred or anger, however instead he found them swimming with a confusing mixture of compassion and relief.

As the older man opened his mouth to speak, undoubtedly to apologise once more, he found himself stopped by a slender finger pressed gently to his lips. He shot Fai a questioning look but was only answered with a small smile. The blonde edged his finger under Ashura's chin and, ever so slowly, dragged the man's face closer to his own. Fai heard Ashura's breath catch as he leaned in the last few centimetres and let his lips lightly brush the older man's. It was a small gesture, hardly a kiss and more of a peck, but it sent Fai's head spinning. It had been far too long since he'd shared such a gentle, romantic kiss with Ashura and he hadn't realised just how much he missed those moments.

Ashura had instinctively closed his eyes and was breathing in as much of Fai's scent as he could before he moved away. However, when after a good twenty seconds Fai still hadn't ended the kiss, Ashura took it as a positive sign and brought his large, slender hands up to cup Fai's face, leaning forwards himself. He deepened the kiss passionately, feeling every fibre of his being cry in relief as Fai mirrored his actions, his good hand reaching up to grip Ashura's hair.

Fai felt a tear threaten to escape as Ashura handled him with the utmost love and care. He had dreamed so often about this moment, that one night he would return home and everything would be back to normal, but never had he imagined it would have felt so achingly _real. _All coherent thoughts left him and he let himself exist only _there _and _then_ because that was all that mattered. Fai's world had nothing but the man he'd first met and he very nearly forget everything that had happened since when, in a moment of passion, Ashura moved his hand to Fai's back and pulled him closer a little too roughly – causing Fai to wince as his injuries throbbed. Ashura immediately stepped back in horror, eyes scanning Fai's body for any signs of damage. He let his hands fall to his sides in defeat – he hadn't even managed to kiss Fai without harming him.

Recognising the look on Ashura's face, Fai frowned and placed his hand on the taller man's face, stroking his cheek with his thumb. Standing on his toes to plant a kiss on his forehead, Fai whispered, "Why don't we just sit," before leading Ashura to the sofa.

As if it was second nature, they curled up together with legs and arms entwined in a position they had assumed countless times before. Fai rested his head in the space between Ashura's neck and shoulder, his fingers playing with the ends of his silky black hair. Ashura's own hands were wrapped gently around Fai's body as he engulfed himself in the scent of his freshly washed golden locks. They both let their eyes fall shut, content and relaxed in each other's embrace. There was still so much that needed to be said, so many feelings they needed to sort out, but they were easily suppressed by the aching need to just _hold _each other. It took all of Fai's self control to stay awake. He couldn't afford to miss a moment of this; a sober Ashura was a rare and precious occurrence.

It was at least an hour before either of them moved again. Ashura couldn't forget forever what he'd done and after ten minutes at conflict with himself he decided to speak.

"Fai…" he started slowly and gently, rousing the blonde from his trance. Fai gazed up at him, so indescribably beautiful with his hair in slight disarray. The purpling bruise on his cheek stood out like a hideous creature amongst a sea of angels.

Ashura laid his palm against the tarnish on Fai's porcelain skin and stroked it lightly. "I'm sorry Fai," he said in a whisper, "You know I never meant to hurt you."

"Yes. I know." Fai replied as he placed his own hand atop Ashura's.

"I promised you it wouldn't happen again and I've betrayed that promise." The older man murmured. "I could never even begin to ask for your forgiveness but-"

"You have it."

Ashura's eyes widened at Fai's interjection. He could hardly believe what he heard. "You don't really mean that?" he asked, bewildered. "You'll forgive me? Again?"

Fai smiled gently as he leant into his lover's hand, "Just…say that you love me."

It was a simple request and Ashura readily accepted. "I love you." He said earnestly. "With all of my heart, with every fibre of my being. I love you and I will never stop loving you, Fai."

The blonde felt his very soul grow lighter at the tender words. He buried his face in Ashura's chest as a wave of emotion overcame him, breathing, "I love you too, Ashura-sama."

Ashura swallowed the lump that he felt had been growing in his throat and let out a shaky breath between chattering teeth. Fai had forgiven him, but that was only the first step. He now had to forgive himself. Plus, he had to prevent the need for forgiveness occurring in the future.

Feeling as though he hadn't quite achieved closure, Ashura ran his hand along the side of Fai's neck and let his fingers rest on the collar of his shirt. Fai sat up in response.

"Can I have a look?" Ashura asked in pain, indicating to Fai's chest.

The blonde hesitated before nodding slightly and began to unbutton his shirt. Once his coat, top and sling were removed, Ashura forced himself to gaze at Fai's wounds unwaveringly – it was the least he could do. He cringed guiltily as his eyes swept over his partner's bare chest. Ashura placed his hand gently over one of the bruises and traced a corresponding scar up to Fai's shoulder. He continued this action, over his arms, over his stomach, along his shoulder and down the side of his torso, until he had memorised and mapped every mark on the pale body with his fingertips.

Fai shivered as Ashura's hands ghosted over him, lovingly and teasingly, sadly and inquisitively. He closed his eyes once more and allowed himself to become lost under the expert touch of the man he loved, enjoying and regretting the moment at the same time. He gasped quietly as he felt a gentle pair of lips press against the side of his neck, before melting into them. The lips soon found his own and engaged him at once, tantalising, tormenting, and fulfilling him. Fai wrapped his free arm around Ashura's neck and leant into the kiss desperately in an effort to stop the moment from passing. The motion seemed to ignite something within the both of them and before long their embrace and their lips grew ferociously more passionate.

Somehow in the midst of it all, Ashura managed to pull himself away for long enough to stammer, "B-but you're hurt!"

"Not that hurt-" was the rushed reply.

Fai made to crash his lips into Ashura's again, but was stopped quickly by two strong arms gripping his shoulders. "Fai, wait." Ashura said seriously. "I have to say…I need to tell you that…" He took a deep breath and steadied himself. "I'm going to stop drinking. Forever. I can't let last night happen again and this is the only way to do it."

The teacher was startled beyond belief and a tear almost escaped his widened blue eyes. He was, for once, utterly speechless. Unable to respond with words, Fai instead decided to show Ashura his gratitude through a slow and tender kiss. When they broke apart, he leant his forehead against the older man's and whispered almost inaudibly, "…thank you."

The rest of the night was the most blissful Fai had experienced in a long time as he became one with Ashura in a way he had previously been unable to. He forgot the pain he'd known for months and allowed his world to become filled with Ashura, Ashura, Ashura and only _Ashura. _He fell asleep that night tangled in a heap of arms and legs despite his cast wrist. For the first time in what seemed like eternity, he slept soundly and contentedly – because of one reason…

…he felt _safe._


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

The next morning Fai woke with a warm tingle in his stomach which, as he stretched out his sore muscles, spread all over his body, right to the very end of his fingertips. The sun was shining gloriously through the single window in his and Ashura's bedroom, a window which suddenly seemed far less depressing than it had the previous morning. He wormed his way out from under Ashura's lean, yet surprisingly muscular, arm and wriggled into a somewhat awkward sitting position, his cast left wrist tucked into his chest. Fai winced as his existing injuries and bruises began to complain about the previous night's activities, but, having conditioned himself to pain over the years, his tolerance was remarkably high and as a result he could function almost normally even when wounded. Besides, his injuries had originally looked far worse than they actually were. Sure, his ribs were throbbing from terrible bruising, his chest stung where it had been lacerated, his cheek still burned and his wrist had seen better days - but he found he could forget it all if it meant having the Ashura he loved back.

The alarm clock read ten-to-ten, so Fai chose to spend just a little while longer gazing contentedly at the face of his sleeping, reunited Prince Charming. One could hardly believe what Ashura was capable of if they looked upon him at rest. He was utterly peaceful, eyes closed serenely and mouth drawn into an elegant smile. His hair fell over his bare shoulders in an artistic tangle, strands of black dancing in the light breeze the window allowed into the room. Fai's smile was bittersweet as he gently stroked a section of Ashura's hair out of his eyes. It was a beautiful moment and he felt completely happy, but he couldn't shake the feeling that it was too good to be true. He wondered how long the peace could last.

As Fai brushed Ashura's cheek, the older man's eyes fluttered open and he caught the hand that hovered above him, lowering it gently to his lips.

"Good morning." He mumbled into Fai's flawless skin.

"To you too." Fai replied.

Ashura slid his other hand around Fai's waist and pulled him back down into his arms, burying his face in the silky hair he adored so very much. He kissed the blonde softly on the forehead.

Fai sighed at Ashura's bare chest. "We should probably get up." He said with a slight whine in his voice.

"I am a little hungry. Breakfast sounds good." Ashura suggested.

"Yeah," Fai laughed, "It does."

"But you know…" Ashura added slowly, eyes brightening mischievously, "I could wait. There's no rush…"

Fai caught on straight away and giggled, as he often did around Ashura. "I could wait too…"

It was another half-an-hour before they did eventually get out of bed, though one could hardly call it _sleeping _in_._ Feeling a little worn out from their night-time _and _morning activities, the two wandered lazily into their freshly cleaned kitchen and searched for sustenance. Ashura was still behaving rather placidly, if not just a little tense, and reached for the orange juice for his morning beverage. It was a simple gesture, but it gave Fai hope. He prayed it would be a good day.

Ashura wondered, as he sat down to a plate of eggs and bacon, if Fai had noticed how anxious he was. He was trying his absolute hardest to stay calm and in control, but it had been over twenty-four hours now since he'd had a drink and it was _killing _him. Every inch of his body was screaming at him to down some liquor and _fast,_ but Ashura had to fight back his urges. He knew there would be withdrawal symptoms and that they would be difficult, he just had to remind himself that it was all for Fai. As long as he remembered that he stood a chance at pulling through.

When they had finished eating, Fai ducked outside for a moment to get the newspaper and left Ashura to clean up. The second he was alone, Ashura suddenly became hyper-aware of the bottle of whiskey that sat above their fridge. It seemed to loom on him; it called his name, pulling him towards it like some kind of alcoholic Siren. Fai was still outside, if Ashura were to just take one little sip he wouldn't see, wouldn't know. Almost hypnotically, Ashura edged towards the bottle and took it slowly in his hands. He unscrewed the cap and was about to bring it to his lips when his mind, for just a moment, cleared and he stopped himself.

_No! _He cried to himself, jerking the whiskey away from his mouth. _It's not even midday and already I'm breaking my promise! _

The aching in his chest for _just one sip_ was fiercely at battle with his unwillingness to betray Fai. It wasn't going to be easy, he knew that – he _knew – _but somehow he had to try. He just _had _to.

The overwhelming scent of the alcohol wafted into Ashura's face and ignited his senses. He eyed the bottle in agony and glanced quickly to the window. Fai was standing in the middle of the lawn, obviously engrossed with whatever was on the front page of the newspaper. Bringing his gaze back to the whiskey, Ashura felt a little more of his self control crumble.

Just one sip. That's all he wanted, just a little to quench his thirst and stop his head from thrumming. He wouldn't have anymore, that could last him all day. Just one, teensy, tiny little sip…or maybe two. Honestly, what harm could it do? He wasn't going to get drunk, it would be fine…

_Oh, what the hell! _Ashura thought as he brought the bottle back to his lips and took one large swig straight from it. It was like liquid gold in his mouth, he felt his heart slow down and his entire body relax as it ran down the back of his throat, burning heavenly. Quickly screwing the cap back on, Ashura returned the whiskey to the top of the fridge and resumed washing up, just as Fai opened the door.

o-o-o

_Just another mouthful, just one more. What could happen? _Ashura thought nervously as he watched Fai's back potter around in the bathroom. He would take at least two minutes to brush his teeth – that was plenty of time. Quick as a flash, Ashura snatched the bottle of whiskey and skulled as much as he could risk. He just needed a little more to help him stay calm – that was all.

Later on, after they watched television together like any normal couple on a Sunday, Fai excused himself to go to the toilet. The whiskey called Ashura's name – he answered. Just a bit more, no harm done.

It was past twelve and Fai was making lunch; he had to go outside to pick some fresh herbs for his specialty gourmet sandwiches. When he was gone, Ashura took the chance to steal another drink. While whipping them up smoothies, Fai spilled milk on the floor and, as he disappeared into the laundry in search of a rag, Ashura grabbed his precious alcohol again.

By the time afternoon rolled around, Ashura had unknowingly consumed almost half of what started as a near-full bottle of whiskey. He wasn't drunk, his body had long since become quite tolerant of alcohol and it took far more than half a bottle of booze to knock him out, but he was becoming a little tipsy. He hadn't been seen yet, and he had so far managed to avoid bringing his face close to Fai's – therefore being caught out by the stench on his breath.

At Six o'clock Fai turned on the news. He wasn't really interested in listening to what the reporters had to say, but watching the news was something _normal _people in _normal _relationships did on Sunday nights. Today had been so blissfully common that Fai's head was becoming a little light. He was practically dizzy with happiness at the prospect of it all – Ashura and him, together and peaceful. Just like they used to be. Fai waited patiently on the couch as his partner prepared them dinner. In all honesty, he couldn't even remember the last time Ashura had cooked – that was generally Fai's forte. Nevertheless, it made the lithe man giddy with joy, especially since he also couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten a meal somebody else had prepared for him.

After half an hour, Fai became a little restless. The television was blasting some boring story about the freshness of vegetables in supermarkets – so Fai removed himself from the couch and crept into the kitchen. Ashura was standing over a large pot, stirring ingredients into a soup. He was like a king in his movements – graceful yet strong, his long hair tied back at the nape of his neck. Fai smiled as he watched his lover. For a moment he felt he could forget everything that had happened over the past two years. Fai gently padded over to Ashura, suddenly desiring to be close, and wrapped his lean arms around the older man's rigid torso. He smiled into Ashura's back, enjoying the moment while it lasted.

"I can't cook if you're hanging on like a limpet," Ashura joked tenderly, "I won't be long now. Why don't you set the table and wait for me in the dining room?"

Fai sighed, "I'll set it later. Waiting is boring – I'd rather stay here with you."

With that, Fai made to kiss Ashura, standing on his toes in order to reach his lips. Panicking, the older man moved his head just at the last moment so that Fai's kiss landed upon Ashura's cheek instead. He pulled away instantly, disentangling Fai, and grabbed some more spices from the pantry in an effort to make his actions look natural.

Unfortunately, Fai wasn't fooled. He was frozen to the spot, delicate features twisting into a frown.

"What's wrong?" he asked, hesitantly.

Ashura wouldn't meet his gaze, "What are talking about? Nothing's wrong."

"Yes it is, you're avoiding me."

"Don't be ridiculous," Ashura replied nonchalantly, still refusing to face the blonde, "You should go set the table."

Fai's frown deepened. "Look at me," he said.

Ashura just kept stirring, heart thrumming wildly in his chest. He couldn't let Fai near his face, any closer and he would smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Look at me," Fai said again, reaching for Ashura. His hand was batted away.

Fai felt his stomach drop. Every illusion he'd held on to desperately that day shattered.

"Ashura," He cried, "just _look _at me!" This time Fai made sure he wouldn't be stopped as he grabbed his lover's chin and wrenched it towards his own. Their eyes met, their breaths mingled and Fai stilled. His hand trembled where it held Ashura's face, his grip tightened and loosened continually. Fai's eyes trailed from where they were fixed upon Ashura's to the man's lips. He inhaled once, twice, three times to be sure – before allowing his hand and gaze to drop, utterly defeated. He glanced at the fridge and noticed something he hadn't before – the whiskey bottle, which, he could have sworn, was near full that morning, was now at least two thirds empty.

Fai shook his head in disbelief, unable to register the disappointment he was feeling.

"You lied to me," he whispered.

Ashura remained as he was, knowing there was nothing he could say. What the hell had he been thinking? Of course Fai was going to find out sooner or later. He was so incredibly stupid.

Fai was still trembling, eyes locked to the floor, "You lied to me," he said again, a little louder.

"Fai-" Ashura began, but was cut short.

"No!" Fai cried, "You lied to me and that's all there is to it! You lied, and you'll always lie – you'll never give it up, not for me. I can see that know."

Forcing his tears to remain unshed, Fai grabbed his car keys from the kitchen bench and walked right out the door, slamming it in the process. There was nothing more to do and nothing more to say. He didn't even know where he was going to go, only that he couldn't be there in that house right now. Jamming the keys into the ignition, Fai slammed the car into reverse with his one good hand before taking off down the street, tires squealing under the pressure.

Ashura watched the ordeal unfold in front of him in silence. He wasn't going to run after Fai – what would be the point? He'd convinced his lover in no uncertain terms that the painful times were over, that he had chosen their relationship over his addiction – and then he'd gone and thrown the lot of it in his face. Fai wouldn't listen to reason now nor would he forgive him. There was only one thing he could do. Ashura finished the soup, packed it away into containers in the refrigerator and slumped down into a chair at the breakfast bar.

With a heavy heart he took a pen, a pad of paper and began to write.


End file.
